|photo via mbartstudios on Etsy|
I'm not super athletic. I just try to do what I can to be healthy. So, yesterday I'm at the gym, on the treadmill and feeling good. I mean, I LOVE running. I may not be very fast, but it just relaxes me in a way that I can't in any other way. So, I'm on the treadmill coming up on mile 2, and this lady walks in, sets her belongings down and gets on the treadmill next to me. Talk about a buzz kill. She was that lady. You know the one. Super tan, beautiful long hair. She looks like she could be a swimsuit model. She's wearing cute matching exercise clothes and she makes running look effortless. She looks cute running. I felt so self conscious. I was in an oversize gray t-shirt and black yoga pants. I'm sweating profusely and my face is red as a tomato. I got off the treadmill. I couldn't do it. I do not look cute when I exercise, and I felt like in that moment, I can't compete with that. I picked my kids up from the daycare and we walked home.
We live a few blocks from the gym, so I had a chance to think. Why did I feel that way? Why can't I just be content with who I am and what I am, and stop competing with the "cute girls"? I'm not in high school anymore - I'm almost 30 years old! I've had 2 kids, and I'm trying to be healthy. I exercise, I try to eat healthy, and I'm doing the best I can! So why is it that some days I just feel like its not enough? I'll never be the cute girl on the treadmill next to me. I never have been! And I don't want to be. I don't want to be anyone but me. And then I thought of something a friend told me a long time ago. The friend was quoting Eleanor Roosevelt when she said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Wow. So powerful.
We're overrun with media and other people telling us we need to do more or be more. Lose weight and you'll be cuter. Buy these clothes and you'll be sexy. Wear this perfume and you'll get all you've ever dreamed. Go here and then you'll be happy... Who are we allowing to determine how we feel about ourselves? Some media executive? A sports drink company or a travel agency? The "cute" lady on the treadmill next to you? How do you determine if you are good enough?
I look around in my personal sphere of influence, not at my bank account, not at my closet, and not at the scale. I have a good life! I have an awesome husband, and 2 wonderful kids. I have a business I enjoy, we have friends and family and I'm happy. I am me, and I am enough.