Monday, May 23, 2016

22 Weeks

I'm now 22 weeks and 2 days. I had my appointment last week with Dr. M and it wasn't good. My cervix shortened even more. He really freaked me out talking about the risks of preterm labor and a short cervix. I'm still on meds to stop the contractions and now I'm on modified bedrest - which is really hard having 3 kids to take care of! But my girls are a huge help with Emmett. Emmett still doesn't like that I have to be in bed so much, but we have discovered he will sit for about 20 minutes snuggling with me if I turn on "Mater" (from Disney's Cars). Its not ideal of course, but it works for now. I'm really fortunate to have my sister-in-law so close by too. She's been helping watch the kids when I go to appointments - which I think will probably be every week from here until delivery - whenever that may be. Right now we are hoping to make it to 24 weeks - the magic week of viability.

22 weeks (and I still have a dirty mirror!) 

Our home teacher came over last night and helped Jorge give me a blessing. I really feel at peace knowing everything will be fine with the baby, but I don't know if that means he will be born early or not. As my Dr said, there is no predictable pattern with preterm labor. And just because it's worked out in the past, doesn't mean it will this time. I'm just trying to have faith that its all in Heavenly Father's hands and not matter how it turns out, it will be ok.

So even thought I have to rest a lot, I'm trying to keep busy. I've decided to start a project I've been putting off for lack of time. I felt at the beginning of the year that I really want/need to focus more on getting to know the character of Jesus Christ. I started reading Jesus the Christ by James E Talmadge.  I want to put together a book complete with photos about the life and character of Christ for my kids as a Christmas present. Maybe it seems a little cheesy, but I really want them to know my testimony about Christ, who He is and His goodness towards all mankind. Hopefully it all comes together! I might share bits of inspiration I discover along the way. Now I'm off to rest some more while my kids watch too much TV. Oi! This too shall pass.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

21 weeks and the drama begins...

Today I hit 21 weeks! I'm feeling this little boy kicking more and more. I'm also gaining more and more weight. This pregnancy has been hands down different than my previous pregnancies - in a great way! Yes, I was still diagnosed with Hyperemesis, but the medications have made all the difference. (I talked in depth about them in this post.) I am grateful for the meds! But I have to admit it is messing with my mind a little bit. I usually lose over 10% of my body weight in the first trimester. And by this point, I am usually still struggling to gain back all the weight I lost. Then I go on to only gain a little bit - like 12 lbs with Amelia, 17lbs with Charlotte and 24lbs with Emmett. But this time around I have gained 17 lbs and the scale will continue to climb, I am sure. I know this is completely normal. I know its healthy - especially since I started this pregnancy the lowest I have ever weighed and the healthiest I have ever been. But having lost 60 lbs after I gave birth to Emmett, there is a certain amount of anxiety everytime I step on that scale. Ugh. I know, I'm being dramatic. But its my reality. Below are before & after photos:

On to other news...

I have had preterm labor/short cervix issues in all of my previous pregnancies (that resulted in a take-home baby). I knew the day was coming. But since this pregnancy had been so different, I think I allowed myself a bit of a false sense of security. I had been cramping a little bit starting around 19 or so weeks, but once I hit 20 weeks the cramping really ramped up. And so I went to my appointment with Dr. M. this week and my cervix has shortened. I'm having actual contractions (versus Braxton Hicks) that are changing my cervix. I was put on meds to stop the contractions and told to "take it easy". I go back next week to see how my cervix is and hopefully it has stabilized. I knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

19 weeks and gender announcement

I can't believe it has been a month since my last super anxious post. Baby is looking great! We even found out the gender... It's a BOY!  We are so excited! Part of the reason we wanted to have another baby was that I just had this overwhelming spiritual impression that Emmett needed a brother. And there you go! You will never go wrong when following promptings you get from Heavenly Father. So far so good!

Morning sickness still rears its ugly head every now and then. The past few days have been terrible. I think the crazy bad heartburn I had with Emmett is kicking in which just makes me feel terrible every night. I'm still on all my anti-nausea/anti-vomiting meds. I tried to go off them last week. That was the worst idea. Lets just say my hubby was begging me to take them again.

We have been quite busy recently. My kids went off track this week (we have year-round school) and now it's "birthday season". We have one birthday every month starting March-August. But we skip July and this baby is due in September, so we'll see how that turns out. ;)

Amelia is now 6! She is such a big girl. We love her so much! She is spunky and determined, quiet and sensitive, curious and sneaky, and she has an amazingly beautiful and "old" soul. She accomplishes whatever she wants. (This was the girl who cut ALL her hair off when I was pregnant with Emmett because she wanted to look like Daddy!! I'll have to dig out those photos. Good times...)
She can ride her bike without training wheels. She is playing soccer and learning to read. She is a great helper with her little brother. (Almost too much sometimes...) She loves to help me cook and calls herself my sous chef. (Thanks to the movie Ratatouille for the vocab lesson!) And she's almost at the end of Kindergarten. I can't believe my sweet baby girl is growing up so fast.

Amelia's 6th Birthday! We had a "spa party". All the little girls had their nails painted and makeup done.

We have lots of fun adventures planned for while my kids are off track and before my pregnancy gets crazy and I end up hospitalized to on bedrest or both. I know, think positively, right? It may not happen, right? Every pregnancy is different, right? Well, I asked Dr M. and he said while all of that IS true, I seem to follow a pattern, so just be prepared. Oh boy. I've felt for the past few weeks that this is the calm before the storm. I pray every night that nothing happens. And while I do feel an assurance that Heavenly Father is watching over us and everything will turn out ok in the end, it's the unknown middle parts that turn on my anxiety. And I don't even have running right now to control it. So, to cope, admittedly I've been watching lots of Downton Abby. Sometimes its nice to think about other people's drama instead of your own. Especially if it is early twentieth century historical fiction/soap opera. :)

Saturday, April 16, 2016

17 weeks & Stress

I'm just going to start off by saying thank goodness its Friday. This week has been really hard! I completely overdid it trying to clean and then celebrate the hubs birthday. Then I didn't order my med refill in enough time and was unmedicated for about 36 hours which ended in a marathon puke-fest and an emotional break down. The good news is the meds really are helping and I know that now, and the crying made me feel better. Apparently its been a little stressful around here!!! I'm also getting some crazy heartburn that Pepcid just isn't even coming close to touching. I am going to see Dr. M on Monday and I'm hoping he can give me something else. Also I'm 17 weeks!

17 weeks (please ignore the dirty mirror!)

And for some crazy reason (her class is doing a dance performance) even though my 5 yr old is afternoon Kindergarten, she has to go to the morning class 3 days next week! Its just frustrating because I had appointments scheduled weeks in advance on 2 of the 3 days. I  scheduled them on purpose thinking she'd be at school. Nope. I had to not only find a sitter for Emmett, but find someone to pick up Amelia from school and then keep her until I get back. And of course both appointments are an hour away. And the school only sent home a notice yesterday. - the Thursday before. Ugh. I figured it out, but it was craziness yesterday.

Poor Emmett is teething too. So he's been following me around whiny and grumpy. Which is just not like him at all. He is just such a happy and mellow kid usually. And every time I have to lay down (which is quite a bit because did I mention not only am I battling regular pregnancy fatigue, but a side effect of 2 of my meds is fatigue? True story!) he starts yelling, "no mommy!" over and over and over again because he wants me to walk around holding him all day. Poor kid. Charlotte has been so good playing with him and holding him and distracting him. And fortunately for me, he usually takes a 2-3 hr nap right after Amelia goes to school, so usually I take a nap then too. So I do get help and breaks.

Speaking of help and breaks, Jorge is amazing! He has always been one to jump in and help, but this pregnancy he's been amazing. He was in a different department/position at work when I was pregnant with Emmett so he wasn't around much. He travelled for work a TON and so friends from church basically helped me survive. And Jorge's brother had just moved close to us so he helped a ton too. But because Jorge wasn't around much, I was a little worried he'd feel overwhelmed by this pregnancy and how much he'd have to do. But I don't know why I was worried! He has been a rock star! There have been no judgements. Only kindness and help and patience. He's the best. I knew there was a reason I married him!

Monday, April 4, 2016

15 weeks and feeling anxious

I am 15 w2d. Its been 3 weeks since I've had a checkup and I'm feeling anxious. I know for "normal" women its no big deal to go this long in between appointments. But for me, it causes so much anxiety. I see the Perinatoogist on Wednesday morning. I really have no reason to think the worst except my past experience, but I'm still freaking out. Jorge gave me a blessing last night and I felt such a strong peaceful feeling that everything is OK. I'm trying to hold on to that feeling. I think I'll make sure my appointments aren't so far apart next time.

15 weeks

In other news I am struggling with my wardrobe. I lost 60 lbs after I had Emmett so none of the maternity clothes I wore with him fit. I have an awesome girlfriend who gave me all her maternity clothes, but not all of it fits me even though its my size. You know how that is. We are just different body shapes. But there are a few basics that fit and I'm so completely grateful for them. I can't imagine investing in another wardrobe I'll only wear for a few more months -especially since this is absolutely our last baby. But seriously! Why do the makers of maternity wear think women who are pregnant want everyone to see their larger than life boobs & thighs? Maybe some women want to show off the extra weight gain, but I sure don't! I tried to find an Easter dress and EVERY dress I tried on (at like 4 different stores) barely came mid-thigh.  Boo.